


Touch

by Luffymarra



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, mention of abuse/torture, mention of non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 03:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4375637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luffymarra/pseuds/Luffymarra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The different touches Fenris has experience in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Touch

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this based on the word prompt 'touch' for Fenhawke week. Also much of this is based on my headcanon. I wrote this at about 2:30 am last night and I'm posting it now but I do have a beta looking it over and will update later.

The first touch Fenris remembered was just after the lyrium ritual. The markings had still been glowing; the skin around them was red and inflamed. When Danarius slaves had reached to take him down from the chains, he had had no voice to beg them not to touch him, all that came out of his ruined throat was a wheezing gasp. Their hands had caused his skin to ache and burn, he tried to struggle against them, which just caused them to hold on tighter and the pain to be even worse. Once he was on a bed, withering to try and relieve the agony that the marks on his back caused him, he felt a gentle hand running through his hair. 

“My little Fenris.” Fenris managed to focus on the blurry figure of the magister standing above him. It would be one of the few times in the next years of his service to the man that Fenris would ever feel any comfort from being touched by Danarius.

****************************  
Fenris hated to be touched by Hadriana! She was always jealous that Danarius valued him more then he valued her, his apprentice. So she made sure that every touch he received from her caused him pain. She would pull on the power in his markings, dig her nails into the flash of his body, and slap him when he started to doze off because she had denied him sleep and food for days, but the worst by far was when she used blood magic on him. It was as if his marking would try to reject the magic in what ever blood ritual she was doing; the agony it placed him in was second only to the marking ritual itself.

His resistance to being controlled by blood magic made him a favorite test subject of hers, when she had come up with a new ritual. Thankfully, the times Danarius would exactly allow it were few and usually only when he had greatly angered the other man. It was one of the many reasons he didn’t try to resist when the other man drew him into his embrace at night.

****************************  
The Fog Warriors’ touches were unlike the touches of Danarius and Hadriana. They were brief, precise, as if they realized he couldn’t stand someone’s hands on him. They only touched him long enough to treat his wounds, teach him a new sword technique, though they were slowly becoming more frequent as he grew to trust the renegade group. 

This made it so much worse for him, when Danrious returned and he followed the order kill the kind warriors. The last warrior he killed was the healer that had looked after his wounds and had helped him to heal the most. Even as he stood there with Fenris’ hand in his chest, there was no hate or judgment in his eyes, all the healer did was place a gentle hand on Fenris’ face and whip away the single tear falling from his eye. 

****************************  
The first time Hawke touched him was after a hard fight against a group of bandits along the wounded coast. He hadn’t realized that he had even been hit until he stumbled from blood lose and the mild poison making its way through his body. Before he could stop her, she had wrapped her arms around his chest and was drawing him over to a nearby rock, so she could look over the cut in his side. He had except her touch to hurt, every mage that had ever touched him before had only caused him pain, but her touch had been different. It had been warm, soothing, something he had never excepted to feel from a mage.

When she started to use her healing magic to close up the cut on his side, he bowed his head so none of their other companions could see the tears of relief that wetted his eyes. He couldn’t believe that a mage’s touch could be pain free, or that he would even briefly wish that she would never stop. 

*****************************  
It was their first night together that Fenris got his second surprise about Hawke’s touch; it could actually make his marks stop aching, even if only for a moment. It frighten him more then he could have thought possible. So when she asked if his marking pained him, he told her yes, but didn’t tell her that she could make them stop hurting. He could not give that kind of power over to anyone, even someone like Hawke, someone he knew he could trust. So he left her laying there, and silently promised himself to never let her touch him again, because he knew if he did ever let her touch him, he would never be able to leave her again.

******************************  
It would be more almost three years before he allowed her to touch him or allowed himself to touch her. After Danarius was dead, when she reminded him that she was there for him, he reached out and touched her face. Just like he remembered, touching her calmed him, brought him a comfort that he could find no where else. It was this reminder that had him pulling her close, when she forgave him for three years ago, and telling her the entire truth about that night. 

From that night on Fenris never feared her touch again.


End file.
